I remember the day
summer, a Tuesday
I remember the place
cool and dark under the bridge
I remember your body
hard against mine, damp and strong
I remember your scent
aftershave and late afternoon exertion
I remember your lips
feverish and insistent with mine
I remember the words
whispered, low and soft and deep
I remember your hair
your eyes your nose your cheek your smile your clothes your promises
but
I don’t remember you
Turn around is fair play —
the ending surprised me.
I agree, great surprise ending!
Great surprise – the “to whom it may concern” ending after the intimacy!
Some things are “more than a notion”
I enjoying the scene of young lust being recalled much more than the partner…ya left me laughing…LOL
Remembering the raw, physical moment but not the person…. Yeah. Well done.
I love this!! Love it!
Not what I expected either!
Unreal!!
wasn’t expecting that last line!! i liked it a lot. really shows how much of things are just an ideal…
reality is sometimes too harsh to remember… a perfect end to a lovely day…
..”but
I don’t remember you”..
_in the context of ur ‘gentle’ poem these words acquire a lot of meaning_(in a different context they may have a lot to do with how poetry is viewed )..
many thanks..
(ps:why gentle?:-because the voice of the poem is such) qed!(smiley)